Black Tinder Dating
Single people, listen up: If you’re looking for love, want to start dating, or just keep it casual, you need to be on Tinder. With over 55 billion matches made, it’s the place to be to meet your next best match. Let’s be real, the dating landscape looks very different today, as most people are meeting online. Single people, listen up: If you’re looking for love, want to start dating, or just keep it casual, you need to be on Tinder. With over 55 billion matches made, it’s the place to be to meet your next best match. Let’s be real, the dating landscape looks very different today, as most people are meeting online.
IN AMERICA ONLINE DATING APPS are now the most common way single people meet, while in the UK the figures are following the same trend. A 2018 study of 2,000 people by the BBC reported that 45 per cent of 16-34 year-olds had used online dating at some point, and that only 18 per cent of them met their current partner through friends, family or on a blind date.
ONLINE DATING APPS FOR SINGLE BLACK WOMEN
Nevertheless, the new online dating experience differs greatly according to race, as I outline in my new guide to Internet dating. A blog post by dating app ‘OkCupid’s co-founder, Christian Rudder, noted that data collected from heterosexual users showed that the strongest biases were against single black women and East Asian men online dating. Most males on the site rated black women as less attractive than women of other ethnicities. It also reported that they received 25 per cent fewer first messages on the ‘OkCupid’ app than women of all other ethnicities. This comes on the back of research revealing the black women are already the most abused group within social media generally.
HAZARDS ONLINE DATING AS A BLACK WOMAN
The overall statistics on who swipes who overwhelmingly conclude that most white people choose other white people within online dating apps. Research conducted by Gerald Mendelsohn, Professor of Psychology at the University of California, revealed that over 80 per cent of the online contacts initiated by white members were to other white members, with only three per cent to black members. By definition, blacks within online dating apps are at an inherent disadvantage to whites.
On the occasions when black women are actually contacted by online dating’s mainly white audience, the motivation is often sexual rather than emotional. They regularly find themselves on the receiving end of post-colonial stereotypes about possessing a more voracious sexual appetite or outlandish sexual preferences. Black writer Stephanie Yeboah came up against these sexual stereotypes during her time online dating. “Some blatantly exclaim that they would want to be in a relationship [with me] to ‘get a taste of jungle fever’ and to see whether black women are ‘as aggressive in bed as they’ve heard,’” she said.
BLACK SEX
Online dating is very effective at revealing how stereotypes about the sexuality of people of African descent are still very much alive. The concept of ‘black sex’, or ‘African sex’ — the assertion that members of this ethnic group are sexually and biologically different from whites, and with a more developed sexuality, dates back to the early 1600s, as the English first began exploring Africa. They focused on the sexuality of the locals, as they often wore no clothes, many tribes were polygamous, and their matrimonial practices differed from those of Christians — all of which European travellers found provocative, if not uncivilised. In today’s online dating world, with the remnants of this past still in play, black women in search of love find themselves having to be additionally mindful of white men with a sexual fetish for their ethnicity.
BLACK WOMEN AND TINDER
The stereotype that sex with a black person will yield a more heightened experience from that with a white person continues to drive many hook-ups and one-night-stands on dating apps like ‘Tinder’, the market leader. The majority of its massive user base is white and male, and so single black women who sign up to ‘Tinder’ may attract those who only see their blackness sexually, and in line with racial stereotypes. The sexual overtures of this group inevitably expose black female online daters to insulting or abusive behaviour, which prematurely erode their tolerance for online dating as a whole, often driving them away from the platforms altogether. Therefore, black woman seeking a long-term relationship should avoid ‘Tinder’. A better option for women of colour is to explore the apps that are less overtly sexual. No dating apps are completely free of sex pests and abusers, although others may have smaller numbers.
TINDER AND BLACK LIVES MATTER
‘Tinder’s position on race was dramatically illustrated recently in the wake of the murder of George Floyd by a white police officer, and the subsequent reactions of the Black Lives Matter movement. Dozens of black women ‘Tinder’ users complained of being banned from the platform for using the app to promote the movement, urging fellow users to sign petitions or donate. Others had their dating accounts blocked simply for adding the Black Lives Matter hashtag to their profiles. These moves contravene Tinder’s guidelines, which prohibit the use of accounts for promotional purposes. But after news of black women being banned hit the headlines, ‘Tinder’ capitulated, issuing a statement in support of the movement, and pledging to donate money to the cause. “We will not be silent when we see injustice in the world,” the statement said.
BLACK BEAUTY DOWNGRADE
But ‘Tinder’s initial position provided further illustration of the lack of support for black women online. As a result of the downgraded status of black single females on dating apps they have to work harder and be more resilient than whites females in order to find appropriate matches within online dating apps — and this takes its toll upon them. Their disappointments and disillusionments go some way toward explaining why they are the least prevalent demographic across online dating apps. After Yeboah’s experience, she went through phases of quitting and rejoining, until she finally quit altogether. “I don’t see any point,” she lamented.
It is easy to extrapolate, on the basis of all these conditions, how a black woman can end up feeling more angry, more sad, more cynical and more disillusioned than a white person about the online dating experience. This is driving the growth of “splinter apps” catering to specific ethnic and cultural niches unsatisfied with mainstream offerings, and which attempt to create a safe space where communities can find each other and where women can escape discrimination. But dating apps generally have a long way to go in eliminating abuses of all kinds. My book has a chapter specifically aimed at women of colour, which offers guidelines and best practices.
The Dangerous
Myth of Attraction
What’s Really Preventing You From Closing the Deal and Getting More Women Back to Your Bedroom…
So what is the dangerous myth of attraction preventing you from getting women out on dates, getting the kiss, closing the deal, and getting her back to your bedroom?
The dangerous myth is that: attraction is black or white
- That a woman either wants you or she doesn’t
- She’s attracted to you or she’s not
- She would sleep with you or she wouldn’t
Now that’s NOT how attraction works.
Black Tinder Dating
Listen careful to what I’m about to say:
Attraction is NOT Black or White
This means that a woman’s opinion of you can change by the year, month, week, day…. Even by the hour…
Now this comes with good news and bad news…
Let’s start with the good news…
The good news is that even if you didn’t make a stellar first impression you can still win her over and get her wanting you…
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- Even if you’re not her “type” or she only sees you as a “friend”…
- Even if you’ve sent her a horribly embarrassing text…
- And even if she’s dating someone else and acts like you don’t even exist…
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In a few minutes i’m going to teach you how three simple texts can change all that..
But first, I’ve got to give you some bad news…
Just because a girl has given you her number, told you to call her, or has even been out on a date with you… Does not automatically mean you will ever see her again….
When she handed you her number she did not sign a “social contract” agreeing to go out with you… It just means she was interested or attracted enough at the moment to give it to you…
Now, that interest and attraction is a good start…
Just don’t make the FATAL MISTAKE of thinking that once a woman gives you her number its game over: you win
Reviews For Tinder Dating Site
Because The Game is actually just beginning….